So it’s the Christmas season. I love this time of year. But as I’ve written about before it can for sure be a weird time for the single Christian.
First, this is the time of year that the Church seems to double down on it’s Family idol. After all, this is the time where all the Easter and Christmas “Christian” families come to church. It’s time to invite your neighbor, who we will wrongly assume is living in married bliss, to church. It’s time to make sure that the whole nuclear family is involved and celebrated.
It’s also time to face all of the relatives that want to know why we are still single. The best part is half of them probably are struggling in their marriage. But I digress. It’s still tough.
It’s the time where you as the single person are expected to do the traveling. You leave your home to go to the home of your parent for to the siblings that have the kids house. I never minded in the sense of I knew it was right. I wanted to be with family and kids should be at their place or the grandparents for Christmas. No doubt. But still. . . It would be nice to do Christmas at home.
And even though you love your nieces and nephews, they aren’t your kids. Which is fine when you are 25 but can hurt some when you are 35. There’s just this part of you that almost feels tired. Maybe even sad.
I used to not really do much for Christmas with my house. Then when I got older I just decided to go for it even by myself. Tree, lights outside on the house, whole nine yards. I’m glad I did. But there is something lonely about the tree and you.
New Years is a whole other ball game. If you’re young, dating someone or even sort of dating someone, or can get at date of any kind . . . it can be fun. Maybe you meet up with friends and go out. I had some great New Years single. Watched a lot of football. Haha. I remember one year me and my roommate didn’t leave the house for about three days. All football.
But again, as the years go by, it’s tougher.
People will tell you that it’s not better with a family. Sometimes that might be true. But that’s mostly B.S. I can tell you now on the other side of it, married with a kid, it’s better with a family. It just is.
I’ve written some other posts on this in the past with practical thoughts. I’ll link them at the bottom.
But really what I want to say is this. God bless you this Christmas season. God sees it all. He sees you leave your house locked up and dark to go to your brothers. He sees you engage you nephews and nieces. He sees you love them in special ways. He sees you get on the floor and play.
He sees you calmly handle the questions of grandparents. He sees you love your parents who really are glad you are there. He sees you alone with your tree late at night. And He sees you wish you had a permanent New Years Eve Date.
You may feel alone, left out or tired this Christmas season. But you’re not. Really Christmas isn’t about the nuclear family. It encompasses it, but it isn’t about it. It’s about a God who put on flesh. Who came for you and me. Who came and was born in a cave with animals, no extended family in attendance.
Jesus came and changed the whole world. He opened the Kingdom to everybody. Not yet married, married, divorced, widowed, parents, kids, rich, poor, sick and healthy. He came so no one would be left out. I’m sorry for when the Church doesn’t get that. But God does. You might skip the family centric Christmas service, but God isn’t skipping over you.
You are not left out of the real Christmas. I know that could sound cheesy, but you know I don’t mean it that way. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt or that the hurt doesn’t matter. Really it means it does. Jesus came for that.
Someday we’ll celebrate this day all together. The dinner table will be filled with the best food and the seats will be filled by all the people in the Kingdom. No one will fill tired, left out, or hurt. May you know that you are not left out of that!
Former Christmas Blogs