Have you ever thought about what was going through the mind of the woman in John 4 when she first saw Jesus kicking it at her well, in the middle of the day, when the “bad” people came to get water, alone, waiting for her? I mean think about it. She even lies to Him to tell Him she is available. This is a woman who had five previous husbands and now was with a sixth. She was obviously trying to find a man who would fill her life up (which is exactly what Jesus used to get into the water of life conversation). I’d never thought about this until I read Beautiful Outlaw, but I think there almost had to be an element of attraction here. This woman started out being attracted to Jesus.
Now Jesus obviously turned the tables on the woman and for sure had no interest in dating her but what I’m saying here is she was extremely intrigued by Him. He was quite simply the most attractive person to ever live.
Why does this matter? Because we can learn from it – especially guys, because we have no idea how attraction works. We think, well I need to have a good job, or a lot of money, or we need to be successful or be really good looking, etc.
When I was in high school I really didn’t date much. I was a late bloomer to put it mildly. I never really had a girlfriend, and frankly I’m not sure I went on a date before my senior year. I was constantly in the friend zone. I thought it was because I was not good looking enough (which in middle school might have been true – ha – my parents should have had a haircut intervention). I was tall and skinny and I just thought that was why.
I also thought that I just wasn’t good enough at stuff. When I looked at the guys who the girls all liked at my school, they were all really good athletes etc. So I thought if I could become good enough at stuff then I would “get the girls”.
In college it felt like that happened. I was kind of good at everything. I played on the college football team (well I was the kicker, but it put in me in an elite circle) and I was also determined to stay out of the friend zone. And you know what, I always had dates and relationships, all through college. I just figured, it was because I was successful. Here’s the thing. I was wrong.
The truth is I was attractive because I was confident, maybe even cocky, ok definitely cocky. It didn’t matter whether it was sports, school, or ministry, I was large and in charge and my confidence grew and that equaled attraction. But I didn’t get it.
There has never been anyone more confident than Jesus. Think about this, Jesus had no money. You can’t really call him successful by worldly standards. He couldn’t even get 12 guys to do what he wanted. He did not have the hot car or the winning record. But Jesus was attractive because He knew exactly who He was. He was comfortable in His own skin (if only I had a dollar for every online profile that a woman wrote that under “what I’m looking for”). Because Jesus knew who He was, He was able to love right, fight for the right stuff, laugh and cry at the right time, the whole nine yards. Jesus was “that guy”. It’s part of the reason the Pharisees and company were so pissed. They were so try hard, and He was so effortless.
Here’s the beauty of this. If we have Jesus we have the opportunity to have His confidence. If our identity is in Him, then we are free to become who we are supposed to be. If we engage Him we can heal from our wounds, work on our sin and weaknesses, and be able to love others the right way. And there is nothing, and I mean nothing, hotter than that.