Tag Archives: Jesus

Jesus Was Hot

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Have you ever thought about what was going through the mind of the woman in John 4 when she first saw Jesus kicking it at her well, in the middle of the day, when the “bad” people came to get water, alone, waiting for her?  I mean think about it.  She even lies to Him to tell Him she is available.  This is a woman who had five previous husbands and now was with a sixth.  She was obviously trying to find a man who would fill her life up (which is exactly what Jesus used to get into the water of life conversation).  I’d never thought about this until I read Beautiful Outlaw, but I think there almost had to be an element of attraction here.  This woman started out being attracted to Jesus.

Now Jesus obviously turned the tables on the woman and for sure had no interest in dating her but what I’m saying here is she was extremely intrigued by Him.  He was quite simply the most attractive person to ever live.

Why does this matter?  Because we can learn from it – especially guys, because we have no idea how attraction works.  We think, well I need to have a good job, or a lot of money, or we need to be successful or be really good looking, etc.

When I was in high school I really didn’t date much.  I was a late bloomer to put it mildly.  I never really had a girlfriend, and frankly I’m not sure I went on a date before my senior year.  I was constantly in the friend zone.  I thought it was because I was not good looking enough (which in middle school might have been true – ha – my parents should have had a haircut intervention).  I was tall and skinny and I just thought that was why.

I also thought that I just wasn’t good enough at stuff. When I looked at the guys who the girls all liked at my school, they were all really good athletes etc.  So I thought if I could become good enough at stuff then I would “get the girls”.

In college it felt like that happened. I was kind of good at everything.  I played on the college football team (well I was the kicker, but it put in me in an elite circle) and I was also determined to stay out of the friend zone.  And you know what, I always had dates and relationships, all through college.  I just figured, it was because I was successful.  Here’s the thing.  I was wrong.

The truth is I was attractive because I was confident, maybe even cocky, ok definitely cocky.  It didn’t matter whether it was sports, school, or ministry, I was large and in charge and my confidence grew and that equaled attraction.  But I didn’t get it.

There has never been anyone more confident than Jesus.  Think about this, Jesus had no money.  You can’t really call him successful by worldly standards.  He couldn’t even get 12 guys to do what he wanted.  He did not have the hot car or the winning record.  But Jesus was attractive because He knew exactly who He was.  He was comfortable in His own skin (if only I had a dollar for every online profile that a woman wrote that under “what I’m looking for”).  Because Jesus knew who He was, He was able to love right, fight for the right stuff, laugh and cry at the right time, the whole nine yards.  Jesus was “that guy”.  It’s part of the reason the Pharisees and company were so pissed.  They were so try hard, and He was so effortless.

Here’s the beauty of this.  If we have Jesus we have the opportunity to have His confidence.  If our identity is in Him, then we are free to become who we are supposed to be.  If we engage Him we can heal from our wounds, work on our sin and weaknesses, and be able to love others the right way.  And there is nothing, and I mean nothing, hotter than that.

The Prodigal Married and the Indignant Single

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There were once two friends who grew up together.  The first friend tried their best to live the “Christian” life.  They went to church, followed the “rules” and when it came to sexual purity they kept it, not having sex with anyone.  The second friend started out that way but sometime in high school they changed.  They decided they didn’t like the rules as much as they liked sex.  They didn’t keep their purity at all and in fact did crazy things.  They then pretty much left church and frankly God as well.

Then one day the second friend realized that this was not working.  Some other friends introduced them to Jesus in a real way and they began to follow Him.  Eventually this friend quit having sex with people (this was not easy and cost them a relationship or two) and they committed their sex life to God and waited until marriage.  Then they met someone and fell in love.  The Lord was in it and they got married.

This friend called the other and asked them to be in the wedding.  This first friend still had not had sex with anyone and still wasn’t married.  They did what was right and yet, God had not brought them a spouse.  The first friend of course went to the wedding and “celebrated” but they were conflicted.  “Why does this other person who went out and squandered the gift of sex get someone to love and to hold?”  “What about me?” they asked.  “How come I have been fighting to be pure and do what is right and yet you (God) have not rewarded me with a spouse – which is something I’ve always wanted?”  They love their friend but they didn’t really enjoy the wedding – or their friend.

The story of the “prodigal son” is one of the most used (often misused) stories in the Bible. It is a truly great parable.  I’ve heard it used over and over, mainly as a call to repentance to stop wandering and come home to Jesus.  The truth of the matter (as everyone from Keller to Bell) has pointed out lately, is that this story is not so much about the prodigal son as it is about God (all parables are about God first – that’s for free) and about the older son.

Jesus is not directing this story at the lost.  He is directing it at the Pharisees and teachers of the law.  The whole point of the story, in it’s context, wasn’t to call home the lost but instead to let the Pharisees know that they were missing it.  They were standing outside the party.  They were unable to celebrate the lost coming home because of their own self righteousness.

As single Christians this is a trap we have to watch out for.  The trap of resentment and bitterness.  This can happen when someone who has lived the crazy life seems to somehow be rewarded with a spouse quickly while we who are “morally good” don’t have that gift.  It can happen when we are in our 30s and single and we see people way younger than us get married while we are still waiting.

It’s usually almost subconscious but it can sneak it’s way in.  We might end up judging them, “they don’t deserve it” or “I hope it works out but I don’t know. . .” etc.  We end up feeling sorry for ourselves, “but I’ve done everything right“, or “I guess I’m just not going to get to be happy. . ” etc.  Mostly we end up indignant with God as if He owes us a spouse or somehow is holding out on us.

Obviously this keeps us outside the party – which is not where we want to be.  It can keep us from enjoying our friend, their day and what God is doing in their life. And if we let it go unchecked it can create bitterness and cynicism that stays with us in this area of our life – and that can lead to either giving up on sexual purity, or maybe worse, more self righteousness.

We have to fight to follow Jesus into the party and celebrate what He is doing there.  It’s worth it to be there and it’s not about us.

We Are All Wounded

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One of the promises of Jesus is that He will make all things new.  From Jesus’ very first sermon in Luke 4, all the way through the gospels, Jesus is bringing a message of renewal. (This is different by the way than making all new things – that is not the promise – it is making things new, putting things right, making it the way it was supposed to be).

But if this is the promise then there is also an assumption that things are not right – both in the world and in each person’s life.  Otherwise why would we need to be healed?  Yes Jesus came for the forgiveness of sin, but that is not the only reason He came. It is the first necessary step – but not the last step.

This is so relevant to the topic of singleness.  Because if we are wounded then guess what, that is going to play out in how we live.  We are wounded by our others and our own sin. We live in a broken world and we have the scars to prove it.

Our first wounds come from our family.  I don’t care how great your family was they were all human.  There are wounds from that.  This affects how we think about our world, ourselves and most importantly God.

There are a lot of reasons to not see or deal with our wounds.  Sometimes it’s hard and we just don’t want to.  Other times we don’t even realize that we are messed up because it’s really all we’ve ever known.  This can be even more dangerous if we have a good family because we think, “well it all was pretty good”.  Also many times we don’t want to be mad at anyone and rather than deal with it we just let it go.  But that doesn’t solve anything.

I was once in a random bar (called The Coyote Catina – how great a name is that) in Colorado with three guys I had just met.  We were talking about this exact thing.  One of the men said something that was incredibly wise.

He said, “Look at it this way.  Let’s say that you are in the kitchen.  I break into your house, steal a knife and stab you.  This would be horrible but you would know what to do.  You would do your best to fight me off. Then you call 911 and the police and ambulance come. I’m arrested and you go get treated for your wound.  It’s clear I’m the bad guy and you can forgive me or not – but the situation is clear.  Now let’s say that instead you and I are best friends and we are hanging out in your kitchen making a meal together.  I have a knife in my hand.  Then I slip or you slip and I stab you.  You scream in pain.  I say ‘Oh my gosh I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to’ and you say, ‘I know you didn’t mean to’. But here’s the thing – you are still stabbed.  You still have to call 911.  You still have to get treated for the wound”

The point is it isn’t about blame – but it is about getting treated for your wounds.  Because if you don’t you will keep bleeding.  As a single person this can be harder to see.  As a married person a lot of stuff comes out in your relationship and you (hopefully) have to start to deal with it.  If you have kids it is massively apparent and (again hopefully) you start to deal with it.  I think as a single person it is easier to hide from our woundedness.  But we’ve got to deal with it.  Because if we don’t we keep bleeding and we take an even bigger wound into our 30’s, and if we do get married, into our marriage and family.

I have much more to say about this but for now let me ask a couple of questions.  Do you know where you are wounded?  How does that play out for you as a single person?