Tag Archives: self righteousness

I’m Not Ok and You’re Not Ok

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Last time we looked at the idea in the first part of this century stemming from postmodernism (which was in motion far before then) that truth was relative to the individual and that we should somehow tolerate that idea and each other’s truths.  We also looked at some of why that didn’t and doesn’t work out well.  Today I want to look at how we might lead as Christians in the current context resulting from the failure of that idea.

First as a society, Christian or not, we need to understand this.  At this point, we either have to figure out how to rescue absolute truth or we will have a continual war between the “truths”.  Those truths will battle to become the absolute truths of society.  Because that is how it works.  Always.

As Christians what we need to do is a couple of things.  Mainly we need to lead with actual Christian truth.  All of it.  Not part of it.  Not the parts that line up with my “truths” but all of it.

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The Self Righteous Person Is The Most Dangerous Person In The Room (Bible Study Matthew 7 Part 1)

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Today I want to venture into Matthew 7.  Jesus is giving the sermon on the mount and this is the closing part of that sermon.  As I’ve mentioned several times it’s important to see this entire sermon (Matthew 5-7) as one line of thought, building on itself.  But we are pulling some truths out of it a piece at a time, which is also helpful.

In the opening of Matthew 7 Jesus is talking about the idea of judging others.  Here is what He says

Do not judge, or you too will be judged.  For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Now this might be one of the most misused scriptures in the bible.  People say this is Jesus saying that you should make no judgements.  But as we’ll see this is not the main idea here.

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Stop Praying (Posting) To Be Seen By Others (Matthew 6 Bible Study Part 1)

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Today I want to start to take a look at Matthew 6.  I want to look at what it meant in context, and to carry that truth in a direction that I think is really important today.

Matthew 6 is in the middle of what is known as the sermon on the mount.  I want to be clear to state that it is always a little risky to pull parts of a sermon out.  There is an actual rhythm and order to this sermon from Jesus.  And this is in the middle.  However, there are also truths that we can pull out from the parts.

Chapter 6 starts out with a main statement in verse 1 and then gives three examples to explain it in the following verses.  Here is the overall point:

Don’t perform righteous deeds for other people to see them, if you do you will have no reward from God.

That’s the opening line in my language.  Feel fee to check your version.

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Start With Yourself – Are You Generous? (Bible Study The Rich Young Man – Part 3)

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In two previous posts we’ve been considering the story of the Rich Young Man’s encounter with Jesus.  We discussed the story itself and then in the last post we looked at two major errors Christians make in thinking about money.  Today I want to start with the idea that we need to start with ourselves before we judge others.

One of the problems in our society is that we like to create groups of people and then judge the groups that we don’t see ourselves in.  This is true in many aspects of our lives but I think money is a great example and it’s the theme of this thought we are in right now.

You hear all the time about wealth or income inequality, the 1%, the 10% and so on.  We talk about people that have an income over a certain amount.  Mostly we like to judge whatever group has more than us.

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View History As If You Were The Perpetrator (How To View History As A Christian Part 2)

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Today I want to continue to think about how we view history as a Christian. Last time I wrote about the idea that we are called to love the dead.  In other words when we study people of the past we are called to study them with love in our hearts towards them.  Each and every person who has ever lived was created in the image of God.  When Jesus says to love our neighbor that includes everyone.  It includes our enemy.  It includes every person in history.  Basically the idea is that the dead are our neighbors and we should treat them as such.

That alone is a major game changer.  It means that I don’t get to sit in some sort of superior, self righteous place as I judge the people of the past.  It means we should not act as if we are better, smarter or somehow more morally superior to those in the past.  Because quite clearly we are not.  Any fair reading of history along with any fair assessment of our own culture will tell you this.  And that goes for all cultures.

This leads me to my second thought on how we should view history from a Christian worldview.  This is also going to be uncomfortable by the way.  Here it is.  We should read history as if we are the perpetrators.

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Self Righteousness, Envy and Generosity (Bible study Matthew 20)

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In Matthew 20 Jesus tells another parable.  It is the story of the landowner and the workers that he hires at different times during the day.  In the parable the landowner goes and hires men first thing in the morning and tells them he will pay them the daily wage.  They agree and get to work.  Then at 9 AM, 3 PM and 5 PM he goes out and finds others promising them a just wage for their work if they start right away.  They all go.  At the end of the day he pays them all. He starts with those hired at 5 and pays them a full day’s wage.  Then he does the same with those he hired at 3 and at 9.  Finally when it comes to those he hired first, they think that he will pay them more.  But he doesn’t.  They complain about the “injustice” because they got paid the same as those who started only a short while ago.  The landowner says that it is not unfair.  He paid them what they agreed to.  He says who are they to challenge what he does with his own money and asks if they are envious of his generosity.

Now people can read this a lot of ways.  It’s actually a really tough parable.  I think first when we read scripture it’s important to think about what it meant to that group of people at that time.  Jesus was in the middle of many confrontations with the Pharisees and teachers of the law.  The heat is getting turned up as we are approaching the time when they would look to kill Jesus.  One of the things that they are most mad about is that all sorts of “sinners” seem to be allowed into this kingdom that Jesus keeps talking about and they seem to be on the outside and they don’t like it.  After all, they’ve followed all the rules.  They’ve been in this since the beginning.  They should be first, not last.

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How Much Of A Sinner Are You? (Luke 7:36-50)

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Luke 7:36-50 tells an interesting story that I think is often misinterpreted or glossed over.  Jesus is at the home of a pharisee who has requested dinner with Jesus.  Let’s push pause right here before we go further.

One of the mistakes we make reading the gospels is that we often turn the Pharisees into one monolithic group.  They were not.  They were actual people.  And Jesus loved them too.  Yes they got a lot wrong. Yes many of them did not like Jesus.  But Jesus didn’t hate them.  He loved them.  He kept loving them all the way through the end.  Even when He was challenging them He was doing it to try to get them to see the truth.  He asks them once – who will save you from hell?!  Jesus was trying to get them to get it.  Just like everyone else.  And some of them were interested.  Obviously this Pharisee was curious.

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The Other Parable of Two Sons (Matthew 21:28-32)

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In todays look at the scriptures I’d like to look at what I like to call The Other Parable of Two Sons.  When most people think of a parable with two sons they immediately think of the familiar parable of the prodigal son.  That is indeed a great parable and perhaps we’ll dive in another day.  Today I want to look in stead at the parable of the two sons in Matthew 21.

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You Aren’t Entitled To A Spouse

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Recently, while talking about my wedding, a good friend remarked something to the effect of, “It’s a great story.  You’re 40 and you’ve never settled.  And now God has been faithful.”  I kind of just smiled at this.

I get this sort of thing all the time.  This idea that because I’ve “hung in there” or “not settled” that God is finally rewarding me.  Or that from day one God has had this as His plan – that plan apparently being have me wait until 40 to get married.

While I appreciate the sentiment, I’m not sure I buy that exactly.

Here is what I do buy.  God for sure brought me and my soon to be bride together.  I believe that wholeheartedly.  It’s a good fit on so many levels it’s not even really questionable.  Another friend said to me recently about the way our lives fit together, “If you ever tell me there’s no God, I’m gonna hit you in the face!  Because there is no way!  It’s so right!”  He’s right!

But, I would say, it is in spite of my sin, brokenness, and failures that God has done this.  It’s His grace that has brought us together, not my “faithfulness.”

It’s not that I’ve been completely unfaithful or that I’ve thought about “settling” if “settling” means marrying someone who I shouldn’t.  But this idea that somehow I’ve earned God’s favor and He has finally rewarded me just doesn’t wash.

One of the big problems in our culture is this idea of entitlement.  The idea that I’m owed something.  You see it in the sports, business, and yes even in ministry.  But no where does it rear its head in Christian culture more than in the discussion of singleness and marriage.  And it’s a problem.

God does not owe us a spouse.

Entitlement comes from a couple of places.  One is self-righteousness.  We see this in the person who has “saved themselves for marriage” and therefore can’t understand why they are not married.  It’s the idea that if I’m moral enough then God should deliver.  Usually we fall into this by accident – at least I did.  At first I was doing right because of God, but then it kind of turned.  I was being “good” so why wasn’t He holding up His end of the bargain.  But we aren’t moral to get something from God.  We are moral out of gratitude to God, and because we are following Him and He leads us to Godly Righteousness.  We live a Chaste life for Him, not to earn something.

Entitlement also comes from arrogance.  This is where the whole “don’t settle” thing comes into play.  Now I’m not saying marry or date anyone that comes along.  By no means!  But there is the idea that because I’ve passed on so many people that now God has brought me “The One“.  Ummmm.  Yeah, I’m not real comfortable with that.  I think sometimes I chose not to pursue and it was wise, other times it was stupid.  Sometimes it was out of fear or rationalization.  The point is, I can always find something wrong and not commit.  It’s a fine line.  But the biggest issue is that it assumes that no one would have to settle to be with me.  Hahaha.  I mean I’m pretty screwed up.

The thing about all of this entitlement is that it creates bitterness, frustration and resentment in our own hearts.

We end up resenting God.  He becomes the Great Withholder.  He isn’t giving us what we want, or what we feel we’ve earned.  He isn’t coming through.  He’s not bringing me anyone or at least not the perfect one.  It’s all His fault that I’m not married.  Has nothing to do with me or anybody else.  It’s your fault God.

We end up resenting the opposite sex.  This drives me crazy but I used to be there.  Man I spent some time resenting women, or at least certain ones.  They should like me.  They always pick the guy who isn’t really as “Christian” as me.  Man, I want to throw up writing that.  And the female version where there are no mature guys.  There just aren’t any guys who love Jesus and have a job etc.  Really!?  Again, it couldn’t possibly be me.  All of this is bad for us (it also makes us way less attractive).

Finally we can end up resenting our friends that get married.  “I hope they make it” – read – because they sure aren’t as spiritual as me.  They lived a crazy life and now they get “what they want” and I don’t.  How is that fair?

We have to flush this stuff out.  We are not entitled to a spouse.  No one has to choose us. God does not owe us.  But more importantly, it’s not about that anyway.  We can’t let it become our identity.

Do you feel entitled to a spouse?  Who do resent?  What helps you fight those two things?