One of the questions that comes up in different ways is as follows: Is being a virtuous man attractive to women?
Before I answer that let’s clear up a few things.
First of all it should be noted that attractiveness itself is not a virtue. Being attractive to women is not a virtue. Being “hot” is not a virtue. There are plenty of non-virtuous men who are attractive to women. We see this all the time. Heck a common complaint is that women are attracted to the “bad boys”. It’s a common complaint because it’s often true.
There are men who don’t treat women well who are attractive to women. There are men who are mean and insensitive who are attractive to women. There are men who live dangerously in one form or another who are attractive to women.
In my last post I tried to set up some thoughts about lying. Toward the end of that post, I talked about two people that I know we often lie to: God and ourselves. Today I want to think about how we lie to others and how to stop doing that.
Before I dive in, let me talk about a couple of reasons this is important. First, it’s important because lying is a sin. Thou shalt not lie is one of the ten commandments. The second thing is that while lying to someone may seem like it helps us in that circumstance it almost always backfires in some way. But even if it doesn’t seem to it does at least two things. It erodes trust and it impacts my ability to love that person – because I’ll know I lied to them – even if they never know it.
This last year I read a book by Jordan Peterson called “The 12 Rules For Life”. It’s an interesting read on many levels but one of the rules that he espouses has really stuck with me. That is: Always Tell The Truth Or At Least Don’t Lie.
I think that this rule or idea has enormous implications. For everyone in every context.
Now, it seems simple enough. After all as a Christian am I not to always be honest as it were? Well yes. In fact “don’t lie” is one of the ten commandments. It’s one of the basic rules for almost any moral code, scriptural or otherwise. But for something so simple we aren’t very good at it.
Recently I’ve been thinking some about virtue. That is, what is virtuous and what isn’t. For example, I’ve written about how being “nice” is not a virtue while being good is. All of this may seem like semantics or splitting hairs but it’s more than that. How we view these things impacts how we live our lives. It impacts how we view ourselves and our context, including if our context happens to be singleness. I want to tackle a few more of these thoughts in the context of singleness.
Today I want to talk bout the idea of meekness. Meekness is indeed a virtue. So much so in fact that Jesus says in Matthew 5 that the meek shall inherit the earth. But we are very confused in our culture, even in our Christian culture, about what meekness is.