I’ve been writing some posts about how to stop lying, why it’s important starting with not lying to ourselves and to others in general. Today I want to bring this back into the topic of singleness for a couple of posts. Today I want to talk about how to not lie as a single and next time I’ll list some lies that single are told and often believe.
Before I dive in I want to say that I’m writing from a Christian context but that basically all I’m going to say here is just basic morality and good emotional health. The fact is that God created us to be emotionally and mentally healthy and to be in right relationship with each other in all circumstances. Sin of any kind wrecks that. Which is why we are in the world that we are. Lying is one of those sins.
Here are some lies I think singles tell each other.
In my last post I tried to set up some thoughts about lying. Toward the end of that post, I talked about two people that I know we often lie to: God and ourselves. Today I want to think about how we lie to others and how to stop doing that.
Before I dive in, let me talk about a couple of reasons this is important. First, it’s important because lying is a sin. Thou shalt not lie is one of the ten commandments. The second thing is that while lying to someone may seem like it helps us in that circumstance it almost always backfires in some way. But even if it doesn’t seem to it does at least two things. It erodes trust and it impacts my ability to love that person – because I’ll know I lied to them – even if they never know it.
This last year I read a book by Jordan Peterson called “The 12 Rules For Life”. It’s an interesting read on many levels but one of the rules that he espouses has really stuck with me. That is: Always Tell The Truth Or At Least Don’t Lie.
I think that this rule or idea has enormous implications. For everyone in every context.
Now, it seems simple enough. After all as a Christian am I not to always be honest as it were? Well yes. In fact “don’t lie” is one of the ten commandments. It’s one of the basic rules for almost any moral code, scriptural or otherwise. But for something so simple we aren’t very good at it.