Lies Single Christians Believe

The last couple of blogs I’ve been writing about the idea of not lying.  It’s funny even to type that.  But as we’ve been discussing, this is not always as simple as it seems. We’ve talked about not lying to ourselves, not lying to others, and not lying to other singles.

In the world of Christian singleness there are a ton of lies.  There are lies that the church has told singles, lies the enemy has told singles, lies that singles tell themselves, and lies that our current culture tells them.  I’ve written a lot about these over the years.  Rather than try to sum up that many posts in one new one I’m going to just list some and link to places where I’ve tried to be more honest and straightforward with the truth.  The list is not exhaustive and in fact if you think of more put it in the comments.  I’d love to see what I’m missing.  So here we go.  Lies singles have been told, thought and/or believed:

Everyone should be married

God has The One for you

You have a soulmate

God is holding out on you

If you are Christian enough then you will be attractive

How you look doesn’t matter

Attraction is a choice

Being nice will help you get someone to like you

You can serve your way to attraction

You should be friends first

You should always tell the girl how you feel

If you treat her right, then she’ll like you instead of someone who doesn’t

That because you are a good Christian that God owes you a spouse

That it’s all God’s fault that you are single

That it’s all the women’s fault

That you can’t get better at interacting with women

That Celibacy is too much to ask for

That you should just stay you as you are

That Jesus is enough

That marriage is too hard

That practicing Christians get divorced at the same rate as others

That who you marry is the second biggest decision you’ll ever make

That you can be disqualified from marriage

That the gift of singleness as discussed by Paul is temporary

That you should be content with singleness

That the nuclear family is the foundation of the Church

That getting married will solve everything

That you will always be lustful

That singles should do more ministry

That singles can only do certain things in ministry

That marriage is what makes you holy

That it’s all men’s fault that there is less marriage

That you can earn a spouse

That it will just happen

That being desperate is ok

That sexual immorality only impacts you

That there is a biblical plan for getting married

That you’re not an adult until you get married

That you have to be equally yoked

That singles should be segregated

That there are no losses in the single life

That you should “take advantage of your singleness”

That women want a Christian guy first

That you haven’t met anyone you can marry

That where you are right now is always God’s best for you

That the bible will tell can tell you who to marry

That all desire should be fulfilled

That you should have THE TALK early in a relationship

That you should chase the girl

That chasing and pursuing look the same

That it is all your fault

That you can date Jesus

That you should sit back and just wait on God

That there won’t be someone else

That you are meant to be alone

That touch doesn’t matter

That sexual activity leads towards marriage

That singles suffer less than marrieds

That attraction is secular

That your sexual prowess doesn’t matter

That single people do better financially than married people

That you can’t get the one you want

That your marital status defines you

That it’s your job to “guard her heart”

That you should seek to have kids as a single person

That you can’t marry someone you don’t love

That your picker is broken

That you can’t help what you feel

That as a single you should leave the church because they don’t get it

That you will spend eternity married to your spouse

That you should marry someone you can’t live without

That married people don’t need a singleness sermon series

That if you rescue the girl she’ll be attracted to you

Celibacy for the Kingdom is a season

If only Christian men would ask out women everything would be fine

That you are your girlfriends spiritual leader

That being unhealthy physically doesn’t impact marriage

That you have to have a spouse to be great in ministry

That you should know on the first date if you should keep going out

That women can’t do anything to get the guy

That people should just love me for me

That attraction and action are the same

That you are just an animal

That holiness is the only point of marriage

That you can have it all

That attraction and sexual desire are the same

That there is only one type of celibacy

That sexual desire is a sin

That reformed theology answers the singleness issue

That you aren’t good enough for marriage

That being nice is a virtue

That meekness and weakness are the same

That only as male and female together do we represent the image of God

You should save yourself for marriage

You aren’t ready to be married

Celibacy is easy for those called to it

Church Dating is the safest

All of the above are lies.  Or at the least misrepresentations of truths.  Which ones do you believe?  Which ones do you tell yourself.


1 thought on “Lies Single Christians Believe

  1. Another lie is that God will automatically enable you to live the cookie cutter image designed by the church “leaders”.

    Another lie is that the Lord expects us to live in such conformity in the first place.

    Calvinism is possibly the biggest lie in the modern church.

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